After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
