True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
