he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
