**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
