Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
