I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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