good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
