awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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