but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
