cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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