Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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