is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
