so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
