How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
