Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
