did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
