So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
