You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
