I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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