I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
