I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
