As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
