All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
