WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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