do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
