Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
