what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
