I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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