and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
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