We're facebook friends in real life
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
