At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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