Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He better not be in your backpack
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
