Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
