this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
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