did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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