I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
