The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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