is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
it glows. i had to have it.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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