Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Still dying that you shit outside
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
