no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Randomize
