More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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