Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
