Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
