she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
