Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
