I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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