hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
