Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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