Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
