I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Two words: blizzard sex
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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